i feel it so tenderly
i feel it so quietly
writhing with the worms when it rains
i thrust my bruised organs into the pavement
the glass only splinters
can you hear the music?
geese are gentle things
the gray dog is calling on the hill
the sore-thumbed child cries
a warm-bodied bird unaware of the seasons fleeting
declares itself a state of emergency
i have nothing to give you
the earth would freeze over
mother’s nipples seep mud and dirt and shit
as if to thaw
there are lines on my hands
they weave trails
down the backwoods of my first home
forest floor littered with jelly beans
on ancient grounds
the redwoods in their possibilites
recluses in their ascension
course obsolete
i am no ritual
no known artifact
look at me
spears like daggers in a pale frosted blue
there’s vomit on the bathroom tile
i don’t know what i am
my fervor tremors
it seems
as if for nothing
what can i hold that isn’t myself?
is the gray dog crazed
was the sore-thumbed child left
the earth would freeze over
the warm-bodied bird slams into a window pane
why feed that which you cannot protect
the warm-bodied bird
bloodless
threading a needle and string
through a spear
to wear around my neck
call me a killer
call me unnatural
call me the end of beginning
and start over again
and again and again
and again and again
and again and again
and again and again
and again and again
and again
what do you know recluse
when you close your eyes and the stain glass
of a hundred cathedrals
appear without form
until breath itself demands
its mutating into a learned ritual
what would you do with my supernova
what can you promise me when my spine shatters
into the corners of an alabaster tomb
without a name
carved into its side is this fractured ivory
carved into its side are the muses and the deities
and the heroes of my situation
they are complicit
what you can hold
i wouldn’t believe you
i meant to tell you in the beginning but i forgot
i wouldn’t believe you
i wouldn’t
i feel this so tenderly
the ache to return without suffocating
writhing worm on the pavement
take me to the dirt
i knew a mountain once!
i feel it so tenderly
i feel it so quietly
i wanted to touch you but i didn’t
we shouldn’t talk about serious things